freaking amazing

lyrics :

You are the defender of the weak
You are near those in need
You are a peace to those who grieve
My God you are so many things

You are my refuge and strength
You are my hiding place
You hear my voice when I call
Before I say anything at all
In desperate need I cry
Only to realize
The hand that heals the sick
Has my name written on it

You are the forgiver of my past
You are the pure and spotless lamb
You are the balm that heals the wounds I have
My God You are so many things

You are my refuge and strength
You are my hiding place
You hear my voice when I call
Before I say anything at all
In desperate need I cry
Only to realize
The hand that heals the sick
Has my name written on it

check and balance

So, I'm re-reading Blue Like Jazz and boy is it re-rocking my world! I love it!

I am an involved person. I've never been one of those people that can just work and hang out with people on occasion and feel content....I get bored and feel wasteful with my life, but a lot of times I become strapped for time. I tend to live in organized chaos...well more like manageable chaos. I tread water hoping nobody will jump in the pool - forcing me to go under without a chance to catch my breath. Praying that God will give me strength when my legs give out....and there is the problem. Seeking God in the aftermath...when everything has gone up in smoke. That's the easy part...you have nowhere else to turn, but seeking him First? that's hard.

I've come to realize how important check and balance is in my life. I believe that technically the term is checks and balances, but the singular form is more applicable to my life. This is where Blue Like Jazz comes into my life. Donald Miller mentioned one of the great things America does is a checks and balances system...where power is distributed...which got me thinking. Where does my power come from?

My dad has always told me to check my alignment...no, not on my car, but rather in my life. Who is first? Where is my focus? Who am I really doing things for? And being a rebellious child, anything my dad said, I usually responded in some disrespectful manner, with a lot of rude language - not to mention I probably rolled my eyes enough to get them stuck in that manner the rest of my life...thank God they didn't! But being older, wiser and respectful of authority, I've come to realize, my dad was right...go figure. :) I want to be always striving to put God first - regardless of things I'm invested in, what time I went to bed, how early I'm getting up, where I am living, what my status is in life, if I'm married or single, if I'm dating, when I have kids, etc. God not only deserves to be my first and foremost, but it's a necessity!

This is where balance comes into play. I guess I always think I need to be pouring into lives, serving no matter what, giving everything I have, and for the most part, I do....BUT I forget that even Jesus took time away with the Lord. That I need to have a time to enjoy the life the Lord has allowed me to continue to live, to be filled up - especially considering being surrounded by such wise and truth-filled people - and to just bask in His goodness. I forget that my life needs to be balanced....having heard the phrase "you can't pour from a glass that's empty" so often, the truth of the statement got lost. But now I see just how true it is... If I don't take the time to fill up, I'm going to be like someone who drives a car and never changes the oil...it runs fine for awhile, there will be warning as the oil lamp flashes, but eventually you are not only not going to be able to drive, you are going to be doing severe damage (and believe me, I know how costly cars can be).

It's cool to see that on the days when I seek the Lord first, my days seem to flow smoother - despite the chaos - and I get to see little glimpses of Him...which is what I'm really after anyways. Who wouldn't want to be a part of that?

Thank you letter

Hello!

As you may already know, I have arrived back to the states safely and in good spirits. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to travel with such a God-centered group and to get a glimpse of what is to come in my near future. There are many amazing stories, I could probably write a book, but I will do my best to cover the things that affected me the most.
As of a week prior to the trip, crazy things started happening. I was incredibly sick and only able to get a few hours of restless sleep a night, which put me in an exhausted and weak state to begin with. Then, I was overcome with intense fear paralyzing in fact. On top of all of that, I was $900 short or making my deadline. I was ready to throw in the towel, but felt the need to persevere and not let the enemy hold me back. Therefore, I pressed on. I began to feel better just prior to departing for the trip and at my last bible study, one of the girls in my college group gave me an envelope, which I opened to find nine one hundred dollar bills – the rest of my support. I was at a loss for words, which we all know does not happen very often.
A couple of days later, I was on the plane sitting at the peak of what I can now see of the roller coaster awaiting the free fall that was soon to come. The journey was packed with a lot of first for me. For the first time, I saw the change as someone committed their life to Christ and get baptized! I visited my first orphanage only to fall in love with the children there and their ability to exude so much love despite the heartbreaking lives they had come from. I also saw healing for the first time. Some people regained eyesight, some people were able to walk again, some people could jump again, and some arms grew, including mine. That’s right; I was healed on this trip. As I stood there watching my arm grow to be the same length as my other, my back go into alignment and then my foot shrink back to match the other, I was shaken. Could this be real? This is real! I know the bible speaks of it, but I never thought it would happen to me! I’m truly changed and thankful for God showing me that He is the healer and allowing me to experience His restoration. I believe that God knew I needed to be a part in order to truly believe all the healing I saw after that, that I might be a testimony to Him as the healer.
Other things we did on the trip include visiting the Pasholas (the “slums”), delivering food to the poor, playing with the orphans, and my favorite, making paintings with the kids that need to be sponsored. It was cool to watch the kids, and help when needed, create theses paintings in hopes of being sponsored. Their families know that if their child gets sponsored, there will be food on the table, that clothing will be donated to their home and that their kids will not die of hunger. It was such an amazing thing to experience! The turnouts were astronomical – we painted four days in Brazil just to accommodate all of the children. My heart is broken. For more information about the organization or the paintings, check out seedofhope.org.

I have never been so tested on a trip. I had an allergic reaction and a rash covered my body, not to mention how incredibly itchy and irritating the rash was. I was getting less than six hours of sleep a night, bugs were in everything, I don’t know how many times you would hear someone shout and turn around to find them dumping their fire ant filled bags out to shake off the bugs. Frogs littered the bathrooms, tarantulas in the corner of the rooms, snakes slithering across the ground and millions of mosquitoes. Despite all the chaos though, I would do it all over again. Actually, next year I will do it again with one exception. I won’t just be going to visit, I will be moving to Brazil. I will be planted in Fortaleza for a short while to study the language, only to quickly be moved to one of the three locations for Gospel for Brazil in order to start an orphanage/school with another young woman. Living in a foreign country will in itself be challenge, not to mention having to raise a yearly salary, getting a visa and getting out of debt, but that’s another letter altogether! I would like to ask you to start praying about whether God is leading you to support that trip and keep your eyes open for a follow-up support letter.
Once again, I thank you for supporting me and believing in the vision God has given me! I greatly appreciate each one of you! If you would like to view more photos, my friend Jen took some phenomenal shots of the trip and is willing to share her photos, check out these websites:

First Set
Second Set
Third Set

Have a fantastic week and god bless!

With Love,





“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,[ you were doing it to me!’ -Matthew 25:34-40

brokenness

my heart has just been breaking left and right. I see someone and just weep for them...what's that about? I want to see what God sees in people. I want to breath life and truth into people. I want to see the lame walk, mute talk, deaf hear, blind see, low self esteem be confident, poor be rich, the pushed aside be lifted up and the sick healed. I want to see revival. I want to be a part.

Growing up, I never wanted to be a part of a war. In the midst of the battle. It terrified me. I remember the day, in one of my middle school classes, someone did a project on a famous person that predicted the future (his name slips my mind at the moment) and my classmate began to talk about the predictions for world war three...and it was during my lifetime....I remember getting home, getting on my knees and begging God not to be involved. not to live through it. I was petrified to say the least. It's one thing to be in a war that doesn't take place in our backyard...that's in another country....out of sight out of mind is how I do things. But, God is calling me. To step into an even more intense battle. A battle for souls. Where the enemy is unseen but the destruction, wrath and rubble is apparant on all sides. Called to step out and fight. to stand in the gap for those who are down and out. to reach down and lift those that have been torn to shreds. to fight for those without a voice. how do you do that when you are a wimp? when you tremble at men that are angry? when you cry because a guy you liked didn't notice you? when you have to sleep with the lights on because you watched the commercial for an upcoming horror flick...I mean seriously, my pastor wasn't joking when he said God calls the least likely.

I feel like Gideon, hiding out, shaking out the harvest in secret, scared out of my mind. God calls...I can't be hearing this. He's not calling me. But maybe he is and maybe I will be going into battle like he did and maybe God is going to weed out the others and I will be standing there with the bare minimum. The only cool thing is that God's victory shines in the end. Nobody can claim the glory but God. Nobody could pull this off...only God.

I love that throughout the Bible is the same story. Crap happens...aka life...things look bleak...and then there God is. The cool thing is that God uses us. He doesn't need to, he just likes to. How awesome.

I look back to when I trembled in fear at the next war, or the end times, or anything else (well I still do) but know that I want to be there when God's glory shines through. When the enemy realizes that He messed with the wrong family. That will be the day.

Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice...for not giving up. Thank you God for always showing up. Thank you for victory. Thank you for allowing me to be apart.

new paintings

"Threads of Innocence" 24x36 mixed media



"Tree of Hope"

fundraising

In order to help raise support, we are selling shirts. This picture is the design on the back of the shirt. If you are interested in helping out by buying a shirt, let me know :) $20

Raising Support

I am SO blessed! As I sent off support letters to raise money for the upcoming Brazil trip, I was hesitant. Most of the people I didn't know and the ones I did know have felt the impact of the economy just as much as the rest of us. But, trusting in God, I sent the letters forth and boy has God delivered.

The first deadline for our support raising is this Sunday. Thanks to so many generous people, I have reached this goal :) Thank you all. Now I have the tickets to get to Brazil...only $1,300 more to go!