whew

once again, it's been awhile. I don't even know if people are still reading this but I feel productive when I update. I am now living at the beach and the weather is fantastic! I don't I've ever lived in a place where multiple times throughout the week, sometimes throughout the day, I am blown away about how incredibly, beautiful the sky is. I have obtained yet another job and am currently a pre-k teacher. The kids are incredibly precious, well most of them ;) I am amazed that there is always that one kid in every classroom that likes to push you to the edge of sanity...but it wouldn't be a class without the kid...weird how things like that work out. I adore the church I go to (Life point - lifepointnow.com if you want to check it out)! I still have not made many friends down here but am learning to accept that as a good thing and a chance to have time to myself. Lately, I have been incredibly self-consumed and throwing a huge pity party for myself and my circumstances. But God has been bombarding me with people telling me to change my thinking. I am currently reading in Matthew, in the bible for those that are unfamiliar with the reference, and came across a passage that talked about the life of a Christian and the path to expect. The passage talked about the way towards destruction being wide but the path of a believer is narrow and hard. There it was...everything I was complaining about. God, why is there so much sorrow? Why does my life seem so much harder then all the people around me? Why can't you just heal everyone and make everyone happy? Why can't you wash away my debt? Why can't I be the first chosen, the most beautiful? Why can't I have the happy, perfect life? Common denominator? - the reference to myself. The bible clearly states the the path will be hard ... but it's for God's glory...not for my comfort level or my sense of security or my self image. Man, that was a tough verse to swallow. I needed it, but at the same time, I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to sulk and be miserable...as silly as it sounds. No, I don't understand why so many horrible things occur and how God knows the perfect timing, but luckily I'm not God and I don't have to figure things like that out! I am thankful that God is much bigger then I am and that He is faithful even when I am unfaithful and angry. I like serving a God like Him.