rest

For awhile now, my soul has been longing. I was uncomfortable in my spirit. Don't get me wrong, I've also been joyful, but there was a deep, unfulfilled longing. Something that just wasn't satisfied. Something unwilling to be tamed. Something fighting for attention. With life's busyness, I've had the ability to numb this emptiness...not always intentionally, sometimes I honestly just don't have time to sit and take time for myself. And then my car went. and is still gone. with no estimated date of return. Frustrated and broken, I just wept. Crying out to my Father. Longing for a solution. some resolve. a break from the battles. I was just worn out. Let me tell you, even though not having a car is frustrating and humbling, there are perks. I've had a lot of time to myself. I've had to cancel things I do, because I don't have the transportation and have had time to just come to the Father.

I'm not going to say it's been a completely happy journey. A lot of wounds are being brought up from my past that are calling to be dealt with. A lot of healing. I'm thankful for the time. I know the battle is to be on my own with the Lord. I know that there are things, whispers, that through my busyness have been deaf to.

I'm learning to come to the Father. to rest and let Him fill me up. to cast my burdens upon him. to carry His yoke. And to allow myself to feel the emptiness deep down. As I've been reading and taking time, I've come to learn that this emptiness draws me closer to the King of Kings. Makes me crave His fulfillment. Crave the living water. Nothing else satisfies. And though, I've turned to many "lovers less-wild", I'm thankful to know that there is a God that is faithful, even when we are not faithful. Humbled and grateful.

I read this today...really made me think: [But what if we were to listen to our hearts, and hear it as a need to faint, a need to lay down our "doings" and simply make our needs known to Christ, and rest in him?]