unchained

I've been filled with such love and peace these last couple of weeks! I am so thankful for all those that have taken time out of their lives and the focus off of themselves that so easily blinds us and called/wrote to see how I was doing.

Things in life can be quite difficult...there is nobody that can argue otherwise. No matter the trial...it's a trail. Through this time though, I have been clinging to the word and have learned to reach out in my pain.

I have had my eyes opened to pride that has bound my soul for far too long. It's ok to reach out and be upset. It's ok to call someone crying other than your mom. It's ok to say, "I just need a hug right now and to know you're there for me". I'm not going to say I'm completely comfortable with the vulnerability, but I'm learning to not let my fears stand in the way.

For far too long, I've allowed my fears to stop me in my tracks..."paralysis due to analysis", as my former pastor would say, and a newfound strength has been discovered. The feeling that courses through your veins when you turn to face your fear and tell yourself that you're just going to have to trust the Lord is rejuvenating. It is a thing that inspires you like no words and gives you the opportunity to be brave... one less chain.

I'm not going to brag and say that I'm never fearful and never allow my mind to run away causing intense amounts of irrational fears...but rather that I'm learning that life is about so many choices. Are we going to choose to allow fear to run our lives or are we going to face events head on? After all, life happens and I'd rather meet something face to face then have it come from behind because I'm to scared to turn around.

Another choice I'm learning is how to view death. It's easy to look at pictures of my dad and taunt myself with ideas such as "he's never going to age" and "he's gone forever", but as I've recently read in a book, that's creating such a negative connection and thought process of my father. I want to look at pictures and thank the Lord that I had a dad that was there for me. A dad that stood by my side when I was sick. A dad that helped me out when I was broke. A dad that forgave my debt and showed me a mercy. A dad that showed up to every sport game I had and cheered me on. A dad that always believed in me and cared about my relationship with God. A man that put his family first and admitted his shortcomings. I'm choosing to not allow the thoughts of bitterness and pain to determine my life but rather thankfulness and love...after all, that is what my dad was about.

.Amazing Grace.